...a blog from Monty ...full of emotion ...please read the intro first ....

...introduction .....
this emotional blog is both 'bloggingly bloggy', and .........another from MontyPaul

the heading for this blog is emotion, raw and given only the squiggles of words to cover its force, another ramble from MontyPaul ...please read it slowly, and decide ...this one's pretty-full-on, twisting, turning, lots of emotions here ...please don't feel you have to read it, I offer it to explain processes I don't yet fully understand ...
please accept my apologies for any offence I may cause, and my ardent hope you will have enough compassion to forgive me ....

text for Etherion Community...

....what a process I've been through tonight, do I deserve the grin that lives on my face as I lie here and muse about possibilities...
Oh, happy me ...I am able to see
what a gift I've been given and now will come tears, or rather air through lungs that sob before a tear has fallen ...

I am now free of a drain that was unexpectedly slotted into my life, the pipe work that led all my energy to be molded around a desire for acceptance
Now I can be me, and that picture can grow and push me before it as it tries to honour this process
I've got to both sleep, and write this down, at the same time...

Monty, a friend has helped you, and you are blessed because of it...

Out of this grows an action plan from the night's meeting:
1/ ......ask Gigi to type up the minutes of the meeting
2/ .....PM to begin funneling some of that creative energy into the face marks that can be made, after descriptions are given,

for the INAUGURAL
"ROLLIN' AND ROCKIN', AND, ROCKIN' AND ROLLIN'" .........Dance Event
at Etherion during the period 22.0908 to 03.1008

... and I'm sorry if I can't be more specific
but this event is alive,
with a force and a face I can't fully describe
And it will not be pinned down and given parameters, and times and proper places ...
It will grow until it
'births' us
and all the other interested visitors
who do what they do best, and visit ....
I am free now to double flip myself through the air, covered in yolks of gold,
and feel all the possibilities, and use this energy to pull in ideas
and marry these with even more possibilities,
and give this process to you all,
to nurture and feed it,
to imbue it with wit,
to laugh at it, cry with it,
even to sigh with it,

and it will grow
even snow and frost can’t go
and try and make it slow

….. never have I felt a passion to give honour to a process as I do now ...
what are these hours that we give to a clock face, why do we believe that there are times to sleep and then others to work, can I not achieve both in an instant, and thus release my talents to steam into other warm-heat-molded shapes ...
My yacht project, can I now bring it to fruition, bring progress into a lull, wind into a sail, and froth onto a sea on which we'll sit, and talk with its inhabitants...
can the barriers in my life be seen to be simply stepping stones to the resolution of the chapters of my life's growth ...

sorry all, I'm in the middle of a ramble, a journey into myself and out again and I am 'very aware' that in offering this I expose myself and risk dragging you through the process ...
I do not ask you to come along, you may need to stop reading and walk to the closest mirror, look long and hard at the warm eyed friend that stares back, and ask her/him all the questions you see me doing now, then smile and watch that grin move your soul into action....

the radio intervenes, disturbs my thoughts and takes over, thank you Harry Belafonte, the radio has been my friend too tonight, and given me ideas to play with .....
and this is what I enjoy ....the process .....
I created an event for the 1993 LETS committee that I called
'the Wee Folks Winter Banquet'
and it became a concert and when it had ended, when the last guest had danced their last steps, and stepped out into the hollow chilly night with all the other warmed dance partners wending homeward, when the hall was empty, at least of people ...
I collected chairs, talked with my partner at the time, who was pregnant with our child, a child who taught us lessons without even coming into being, who was named after she left after the scent of a Jasmine vine, and who wove herself into our lives for such a brief time....
yet who stayed and now pushes my pen faster, and faster, and faster ......

and the music plays, on the radio loud, and in my soul still, and I thank all the beings I have rubbed against, as I've rolled through this life .........

Why do I want acceptance so strongly?
Am I not strong enough to just be me?
Oh, ...where does this go?
Is it here, printed on show?
For readers to know
That all can both glow
As sun on the snow
And tears down below

Then bring out those tears
To tear at your fears
Then push to an end
That will wilt and will bend
And out of this come
A huge you, a sum
Of all that you've been
The heavens you've seen
The music you've heard
Like the song of a bird

Then bring it together
And push it on out
Run with your ideas
Run out and shout
I will both coat my ideas with dazzle
Then will I spruik them with boldness and razzle
And last but not least I'll mix in much yeast
And roll out and bake
A loaf full of goodness
Please ..........., come to my feast?

with thanks to our SODG committee, who help me in a way that finally brings the tears
I need to slow me, and push me toward sleep ....goodnight all ....thanks, MontyPaul